Write On Sports LLC - "A Viewer's Guide through Super Bowl XLI" by Troy Somero

A Viewer's Guide through Super Bowl XLI

2007-02-06 19:49:58 | By: Troy Somero

At this point virtually every sportswriter has waxed poetic about everything from Tony Dungy becoming the first African American coach to hoist the Lombardi Trophy, to Peyton Manning finally winning the Super Bowl, to Rex Grossman playing…well, like Rex Grossman. With all of these themes over-exhausted as of Super Bowl Monday morning, another look at the big game is necessary: a view of the game from the eyes of the fans who watched the game. Fortunately I was able to watch the game, like many other Americans, with a large group of peers. Also, I was fortunately enough to document the event for my readers with a running diary of the CBS telecast.

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Super Bowl Sunday. Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York. I watched the game at the apartment of my good friend Brady and his two roommates – Noah and Jim. Also present were about a dozen other people that were friends of one or all of the apartment residents and had varying degrees of football knowledge. The best group of people to watch the Super Bowl with is a group with a variety of interests in the game so that each person can be exposed to a number of viewpoints with respect to the game.

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5:00: The pre-game show is on the 50-inch HDTV in Brady's common room. This is the fourth hour of CBS' pre-game, and when combined with ESPN's coverage that started at 11:00AM there has been a combined six hours of coverage and the game is still 90 minutes away! You gotta love the Super Bowl!

5:06: Conversation ensues about who the announcers will be for the game. Jim Nantz and Phil Simms is the answer, a tandem whom the football minds in the room agree a solid duo for the game. Everyone is happy that we can avoid four hours of Joe Buck using the telecast to preaching on his verbal soapbox to a billion people. Also, the entire group is in agreement about what would be the worst announcing team: John Madden and Tim McCarver.

5:36: This hour of the pre-game show is sponsored by some website called salesgenie.com. The company's three stockholders must be thrilled.

5:47: The recently retired Bill Cowher makes an appearance on the show. While the interview occurs, the room wonders what would happen if Cowher woke up one morning with his mustache missing. The consensus: whoever he saw first would die.

5:48: Mercifully the pre-game show draws to a close as the pre-game entertainment enters Dolphins Stadium: Cirque De Soleil!?! It makes sense that the NFL hires Cirque De Soleil for the event, because nobody knows football better than the French. Between the gigantic inflatables, bright colors and shiny objects, Noah states that the performance "is like Xanadu". This marks the first time that Citizen Kane is tied to the Super Bowl. A strong way to start the Goodell era!

6:02: CBS returns from some pre-game commercials with a montage of Colts fans and Bears fans of varying genders, races and ages. All we are missing is John Mellencamp crooning, "This is ooooooour country," in the background.

6:10: Starting lineups! Finally we are moving closer to seeing football players playing football. The highlight of the moment is the Colts running through the tunnel to The Who's Wont Get Fooled Again. At the start of the song Roger Daltry's famous screech is coupled with a poorly timed shot of a random Colts lineman's crotch. Clearly this is not what The Who had in mind when this song was written. Well, everyone but Pete Townshend.

6:17: Billy Joel sings a delightfully sober rendition of the national anthem. I know, I know, that joke was easy. However, CBS' choice to creepily focus on Charles Tillman's red, veiny eye takes away any nobility that Joel's singing brought to the anthem and immediate freaks out everyone in the room. Way to scare half of America during the Start-Spangled Banner, CBS!

6:23: The coin for today's game is being tossed by Dan Marino. Dan Marino and Peyton Manning on the same field during the Super Bowl? Boomer Esiason's head just exploded on the CBS set.

6:27: The game (FINALLY) begins with the Bears gaining possession first. Devin Hester fields the kickoff on the 8-yard line and spring untouched 92 yards for a touchdown! 7-0 Bears! What an unbelievable way to start the game. Everyone in the room is high-fiving and cheering, and most of the people present are cheering for the Colts. (As an aside, this is even more amazing because of the running joke that Devin Hester started last year during my senior year at Colgate. Florida State played Hester's Miami University in first college football game of 2006. During the entire game Brent Musburger told the audience that Hester was perhaps the greatest college return man of all time, and he was dead serious. Meanwhile, Hester laid a huge egg during the game and costed the Hurricanes the game with a handful of horrible decisions. Thus, the adjective "Hester-like" was born to describe someone that was over-hyped and did not pull through in the clutch. Now, seventeen months later, Hester is quite possibly the greatest return man in NFL history. The lesson: don't mess with The Muss).

6:28: The first in-game shot of Rex Grossman, who is ecstatic about the touchdown. Clearly Rex is thinking, "Maybe I won't have to go out there at all today!"

6:34: The Colts get the ball and collectively look like a deer in headlights, or like the personification of the Peyton Manning Face. Their first possession consisted of two near-interceptions, two false starts, and is capped off by an interception by Tommie Harris. Peyton Manning looked hurried in the pocket and the usually patient Colts offensive line appeared frazzled. Not a good start for the Colts.

6:38: First Bad Rex sighting! Grossman throws a jump ball deep on third down and is nearly picked off. Any momentum the Bears had a few minutes ago is being drained by their feeble offense.

6:40: The salesgenie.com boycott starts now.

6:47: The Colts score on a 53-yard pass to Reggie Wayne. This play is notable for a number of reasons. First, the Colts have swung the momentum back their way by using the no-huddle and completely throwing the Bears defense out of discipline. Second, Phil Simms points out that the Bears failed in their bump-and-run coverage on the play, and if Bears cannot slow down the Colts receivers it will be a long day for their defense. Three, Peyton Manning had way too much time to throw the ball. If the Bears are going to slow down the Colts they need to pressure Manning better. Fourth, Hunter Smith fumbles the snap on the extra point and the extra point fails. It is 7-6 Bears and on some couch in Dallas Tony Romo smiles with his arm around Carrie Underwood.

6:48: Toyota spends $2.5 million telling the commercial viewers all the amazing things its truck can do. Brady asks the natural question: "Can it fly?"

6:50: The Colts squib kick to avoid Hester and the kick is immediately fumbled by the Bears and recovered by Robert Mathis of the Colts. Tony Dungy is a much better coach than Lovie Smith and he exhibits that fact here by learning his lesson from the first kickoff and refusing to let Hester touch the ball. It is a shame that the whole race issue has overshadowed how good of a coach Tony Dungy is, and how bad of a coach Lovie Smith is.

6:51: Joseph Addai and Peyton Manning botch the handoff on the next play and the Bear's Mike Anderson recovers.

6:52: Thomas Jones scampers down the field for a 54-yard gain, giving the Bears a first-and-goal on the Indianapolis five yard-line.

6:54: After a short running play on first down Sexy Rexy threads the needle on a four-yard touchdown pass to Mushin Muhammad. 14-6 Bears. Right now Grossman looks like the All-Pro and Manning looks like, well, Rex Grossman.

6:58: During the commercial one of the guests at the party drops a beer and spills it all over the room. "The rain is a factor today," states Brady. This is the first comment made about the rain since the game started, and it is pouring in Miami.

7:08: The last ten minutes: another near-interception for Manning (that's three), a Bears fumble recovered by the Colts, another near-interception for Manning (that's four), and the Colts punt on a 4th-and-3 from the Bears 39. I do not know it it's been said yet, but the rain is a factor today.

7:13: The first quarter ends with the Bears running on third down after CBS shows a stat that reads, "The Bears are 4 for 24 on 3rd-and-4 or longer this season." Translation: the Bears have no confidence in Rex Grossman, even after a better-than-expected first quarter.

7:21: The first major moment of the second quarter is a tackle by long-lost Manning brother Danny Manning. Somewhere Cooper Manning displays the Manning Face.

7:25: After a Vinatieri field goal CBS goes to a commercial to hype the Grammy's that are airing on the network. Is anyone else as excited as me about the Carrie Underwood-Rascal Flats duo? Anyone other than Tony Romo?

7:30: Lots of electricity in the air. Peyton Manning just screamed at his receivers on the sideline and I cannot mask my utter excitement for a Super Bowl in the rain. Brady says I remind him of the Nintendo 64 kid. Now that's my idea of a Super Bowl commercial.

7:33: The Colts have quickly mounted a solid drive and Manning appears to have finally settled down after one completion to Marvin Harrison and two to Dallas Clark. CBS flashes the stat, "The Colts have scored on 32 of their last 33 red zone drives."

7:34: Touchdown Colts. 16-14 Indianapolis.

7:37: Highlight of the game for me so far: a King Pharmaceuticals commercial with a number of people dressed as diseases beating up a heart-shaped man. The fact that diabetes was played by a sexy woman brings joy to my sugar-free heart.

7:43: After another Colts squib kick and another set of commercials, Thomas Jones loses his helmet on the first play from scrimmage. Phil Simms states, "You're not allowed to rip peoples' heads off anymore." Good think Cirque De Soleil left their guillotines at home.

7:46: More commercials. Happily, I can finally admit to Sprint that I have correctile dysfunction. And to think I had been so embarrassed about admitting it before.

7:53: Good news for the Colts: they are in the two-minute offense and CBS showed a stat that says, "The Colts have outscored opponents 16-0 in the last two minutes of the first half in the playoffs." The Bears need a stop before halftime.

7:56: Fate is a fickled mistress (but so is Paris Hilton – ask Urlacher). Vinatieri misses (GASP!) a 36-yard field goal as time expires. At halftime it is Colts 16, Bears 14. Neither team has played very well and their have been many turnovers, but at this point you have to think that if the Bears want to keep the game within reach they need a big stop coming out of the locker room in the third quarter.

8:25: The thirty-minute halftime ends with a solid, 26-yard kickoff return from Terence Wilkins. I should have taken the under on the halftime-minutes-to-second-half-return-yardage pool that I entered on Wednesday.

8:30: Thing are looking very good for the Colts. After a couple first downs the Colts execute a critical third-down conversion with a wonderful delayed screen pass to Ben Utecht. The reason that this play was so impressive is because it completely baffles Brian Urlacher and he is left flat-footed on the play. It looks like one team has made some halftime adjustments.

8:36: The Colts successfully take the wind out of their own sails. After a questionable false start penalty (really the only questionable call all game) and a 3-yard completion to Addai, the Colts hurry up to the line and throw a quick-out short of the first-down marker. Manning immediately flips out and talks Tony Dungy into challenging the play because he felt that the Bears had 12 men on the field. Clearly, the Bears did not and the Colts lose the challenge and a timeout.

8:39: Field gold Vinatieri. 19-14 Indianapolis. The Bears luckily held the driving Colts to a field goal, thus keeping themselves within striking distance for the ensuing possession.

8:46: After two successful first-down completions to Jones and Muhammad, respectively, the Bears drive collapses. On 2nd-and-1 Grossman utilized the much-maligned 15-step drop and falls down 11 yards behind the line. Then, on the very next play Grossman fumbles the snap and the Bears lose 11 more yards. Sexy Rexy is back with a vengeance, only this time he is taking it out on his own team.

8:50: On the first play from scrimmage after a Brad Maynard punt, Dominic Rhodes sprints 36 yards to the Chicago 28 yard-line. The entire Windy City struggles to keep its beers and brats down and a few thousand mustaches turn grey.

8:51: After another solid Rhodes run (8 yards), a major facemask penalty is committed by the other Manning brother (Danny, not Cooper), giving the Colts another first down in the red zone. Everyone in the room knows that the Bears are falling apart. The team has been carried the entire season by its defense, but the defense has been on the field almost the entire quarter and is looking frustrated and exhausted.

8:54: Somehow the Bears garner the strength to make a third-down stop and force the Colts to kick a 20 yard field goal. 22-14 Indianapolis. The Bears keep sticking around even though they are clearly being outplayed and out-coached right now.

8:57: The first major mistake by the Colts since the first minutes of the game: a Vinatieri squib kick and a late hit out-of-bounds by Robert Mathis, giving the Bears possession on the Colts 40. If you are a Bears fan you have to wonder how long your team can stick around if it cannot convert this possession into at least three points.

9:00: Speaking of people who have been "sticking around" for too long – K-Fed!!

9:02: CBS returns from another series of commercials with a fun stat for Bears fans: "2 TO, 3 1st downs since the Bear's first quarter TD." Let's just say things are not looking good for the Bears right now, even if the ball is out of Grossman's hands this much.

9:03: Right on cue, Sexy Rexy scrambles out of the pocket and nearly throws an interception on a horrible pass across the middle.

9:04: Field goal Bears. 22-17 Indianapolis. However, the highlight of the moment is the commentary after the field goal:

Simms: "Every time you see Robbie Gould kicks a field goal…"

Jim: "…an angel gets its wings."

Beautiful.

9:09: The third quarter after a coach's challenge. A quick out to Marvin Harrison is ruled an incomplete pass after the back official comes in and overrules the side official. Tony Dungy throws his second challenge flag, this time with a little more video evidence to support him. Referee Tony Corrente changes the ruling on the field to a completed pass. (It is interesting to note that the Nantz and Simms only mentioned the officials a few times during the game. The lack of attention to the officials demonstrates how well-officiated the game truly was. Nantz and Simms very briefly mentioned the fact that two of the officials working the game were brothers: Carl and Perry Paganelli. Clearly this information is less important to the viewer than the fact that a new Survivor is starting in a couple weeks. We took a vote of what Survivor themes have not been used yet and the best one was Survivor with one pregnant women and a group of men. I believe that is where the Bears will send Sexy Rexy if his passing woes continue.)

9:19: The last ten minutes were pretty awful for both teams. After a Colts false start and an incomplete pass on third down, Marvin Harrison left the game with an injury. Then, Hunter Smith had a horrible punt that gave the Bears the ball on the 20 yard-line. Then, a twelve-yard run by Thomas Jones is called back due to a holding penalty by John Tait. Neither team looks like they want to win right now. Somewhere in New England Bill Belichick puts on another grey hoodie after getting the chills.

9:21: Good Rex shows up! A great 22-yard completion to Muhammad gets the Bears offense moving up-field. Things are looking up for Chicago until…

9:22: Bad Rex spoils the fun! Grossman lobs a horrible pass down the sideline and it is picked off by Kevin Hayden (who?), who tight-rope walks the sideline and prances down the field for a 56-yard touchdown return. Lovie Smith has no choice but to challenge the plays to see if Hayden stepped out, the first well-calculated risk Smith takes all game. The ruling on the field stands, the Bears have one timeout left, and suddenly it is 29-17 Indianapolis with 11:44 left and no sign of the Bears offense anywhere. Things are not looking good for Chicago.

9:25: Jim Nantz states, "No team has even come back from a 10-point deficit in the Super Bowl." Things are really not looking good for the Chicago.

9:28: Refusing to give the Bears favorable field position, the Colts decide to kick the ball off to Hester. A questionable decision by Dungy turns out to be brilliant, as Vinatieri legs out a kick too deep to be returned. Once again Hester is neutralized. A couple people in the room watching the game wonder why Smith does not use Hester in a few offensive sets. "He is so fast…why not try to use that speed on offense?" That's a great idea, but don't tell Lovie Smith. He is too busy disguising the fact that he knows nothing about offense. Somewhere in Detroit Mike Martz is maniacally laughing on the sofa.

9:30: Bad Rex has become Putrid Rex. A deep pass over the middle of the field is picked off by Bob Sanders as I write "GAME OVER" on my notepad. As I said in my article prior to the conference championships, the Colts safeties are the most underrated players on their team. In this game they made numerous big plays on the ball. Had Grossman faced an inferior group of safeties, the Bears might have had a last chance to win. Actually, the Bears would have had a better chance to win if they put a tipsy Kyle Orton in the game three hours ago.

9:37: The last seven minutes have been uneventful: the audience's attention has waned after the Colts run three low-risk plays and punt the ball back to the Bears with 7:27 left in the game. Have I mentioned that Tony Dungy is a good coach? If the Bears were up by 12 with 7 minutes left Lovie Smith would have called for three straight deep posts.

9:41: The Bears go no-huddle after a first-down completion to Desmond Clark. With the way the Bears' offense has produced today they will need an absolute miracle to pull this one out.

9:43: Perhaps the quintessential play of the game: on 3rd-and-8 and in the no-huddle, Grossman throws a short-out to Thomas Jones that results in a loss of 1 yard. When you are down by 12 points with 5:30 left in the game, a short out does you no good! Throw the ball up field like you have been doing all game! This is actually the first time Lovie Smith's offensive game strategy would have useful, but then he decided to go directly again it.

9:45: Desmond Clark drops a pass on 4th down. The Colts get the ball back and tens of thousands of Bears fans turn off their televisions in Illinois.

9:55: The Colts run eight plays, garnering two first-downs and eating up most of the remaining clock. The biggest moment of the drive is the fact that the Colts do not kick a field goal on fourth down. Instead, they run Dominic Rhodes off the left tackle for little gain. Why was this play so significant? For gambling reasons of course. I found out the day after the game that a friend of mine won the 4th quarter square in his pool because the Colts did not kick the field goal. It is conceivable that this prudent coaching decision costed thousands of American millions of dollars. Gotta love the Super Bowl.

9:57: The Colts finally find a good use for orange Gatorade.

9:58: Game over. Final score: Indianapolis 29, Chicago 17.

There were many things that stood out to me in this game:

- Weather certainly played a major role in the game, as there were a record six turnovers in the first quarter. Most people probably agree that is was great to see a football game with "the elements" as a significant factor.

- Tony Dungy is a great coach and Lovie Smith is not. I know I have been hating on the Bears all season long, but some of the play-calling in the game was inexcusable. Rex Grossman has been shaky all season but the Bears threw the ball down the field way too often to allow their offense to fall into any sort of rhythm.

- Peyton Manning did his job. He was solid, but not spectacular. Manning made one mistake with the early interception and learned from it. Grossman continued to make the same mistakes over-and-over again throughout the game. Someone on the Bears coaching staff needs to remind him that he is not playing Vanderbilt anymore.

- There were at least a dozen teams that could have played better than the Colts did on Sunday. That is a testament to the parity that exists in the NFL. The fact that the Colts played well, but not amazingly well, indicates that there is a balance around the league that does not exist in other major sports (i.e. the MLB). The game was entertaining and engaging, and in the end what more can a football fan ask for?

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